About to take the leap

My writing is horrible.
No, not really.But i’ve done a summary and am now working on the treatment and I can see, better, the weaknesses of the scenes I wrote before. Scenes I had thought were possibly good enough to include in the first draft. Ha. Now everything needs to be re-written. It’s a good thing, albeit slightly disappointing. Good that I saw the weaknesses. Good that I can eliminate them. Good that I’m doing this treatment so I can figure everything out, correctly.

I’m still flying by the seat of my pants, though. Don’t really know what I’m doing. Learning HOW to write a novel AS I’m writing it… of course there’ll be regressions, of course I’ll have to redo a majority of the work I do as I figure stuff out.  But it’ll pay off in the end with an exceptional result. And not just for this book. Every book I write after this will benefit from the effort of learning how to write now.

It’s just… it’s a workout. It’s tough, challenging, sometimes agonizing. But it will make me stronger, not only for this goal, but for ALL FUTURE GOALS.

It’s funny, I feel this way every time I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, about to take the leap into something better, something greater. A part of me is looking down, screaming, “What do you think you’re doing?!! Go back home, where you’re safe! This is too dangerous!” But those times that I do keep up my courage and take the leap–whether it’s an event like getting married or just learning a new, difficult skill–it’s well worth it. And the best part usually comes right after I jump.

So take a deep breath, Alicia. It’ll be more than okay. It’ll be amazing.
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